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We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich
workshops on systemic coaching, relationship happiness, family
chaos and healing the consequences of suicide. Email us if you would like a
workshop in your area.
History of Suicide
In ancient Egypt, suicide was considered a humane way to
escape intolerable conditions. However the Roman government outlawed
suicide, promising eternal torture. As Roman
emperors were also gods, imperial Roman law was both
secular and religious. Many Roman laws were integrated into Judaism, Christianity
and Islam, threatening suicidal slaves with everlasting punishment.
Some laws of slavery remain. Until recently, suicide attempts were punishable
by both religious and criminal law in Western and Islamic countries. Although
most criminal penalties for attempting suicide have been abolished,
many political parties prohibit anyone from assisting a person who wants to
die.
The true number of suicides may be double or triple official figures, as many suicides are described as accidental deaths,
accidental drug overdoses, or a result of schizophrenia or depression. This
contrasts with military organizations and prisons, in which deaths by violence may be reported
as suicide to reduce workload, blame and publicity.
Suicide in Systems
Many suicidal people seem to act out the
life-drama of a suicidal ancestor. If a parent or grand-parent committed
suicide, a descendent can unconsciously identify with that
ancestor, and relive that ancestor's crisis. Systemic disturbances
(dead-person identification)
requires systemic solutions. Relationships between the living
and dead relatives can be resolved with Soulwork systemic coaching
Following a suicide in a family:
- a child may die - perhaps as a miscarriage,
stillborn or crib-death (cot death)
- a grand-child may become suicidal (often at the same age
as the ancestor's suicide)
Descendents can inherit a systemic
disturbance - not genetically but systemically. In particular, the
eldest child (especially if he or she was unborn or under the age of
seven at the time of the suicide) is likely to take on a systemic
(parental-emotional) burden.
A person strongly affected by a relationship with a dead
person is often easy to recognize. A person with
dead person
identification is often melancholy;
often depressed and often obsessed with death and dying. They often
enjoy cemeteries and horror movies. They may consider
themselves psychic and claim to channel ghosts or dead people.
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Feedback |
I tried to kill myself three
times - and I never really knew why. Life was just too hard or too
easy ... After three Soulwork sessions, I knew why ...
I believe that it's changed - it's over. I can live my own life, and
not my grandmother's suicide. RI, Manchester, England |
[ Ghosts ]
[ Dead Person Identification
]
Intelligence, Depression & Suicide
Intelligent people are more likely to suicide if their
lives lack sense. This seems especially true for people who step
out of their shared subjective reality. Social scientists may find themselves increasingly
detached from family and community relationships that motivate
hope and effort.
(Intelligence is not always a survival trait. Less
intelligent people may persevere when more intelligent people give up.)
Euthanasia: Assisted Suicide
Some people request assistance to end their suffering by
voluntary death. Some countries seek to legalize assisted suicide
for the terminally ill. Euthanasia is now openly available in Colombia and
Holland; and Switzerland does not label assisted suicide as a crime. Roman laws remain - people are
property and people choosing to die must be criminal, insane or damned.
Meaning of Life
A decision to die often represents a decision that "life
does not make sense". Although decisions to suicide may be made as a
result of pain, depression, disease or drugs; emotions such as guilt, anger,
sadness and fear may play a strong role.
- Guilt or shame about having harmed people
- Anger or rage about violated values
- Sadness or melancholy about lost opportunities for happiness
- Fear or anxiety about future suffering
Suicidal thoughts may be a basis for a diagnosis of psychotic depression, often leading to psychoactive drugs and
perhaps imprisonment. Suicide may also follow a diagnosis of
schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or during
emotional conditions brought on by a crisis.
[ Depression ]
[ Schizophrenia ] [
Bipolar Disorder ]
Suicide & Sense of Life
A person who lacks close or meaningful
relationships and has no sense of life purpose, may be a suicide
risk, even if the person is physically healthy and has material success. A
meaningless life is also connected to depression. If life
seems to lack sense, or if death seems to make more sense than life, then
suicide may appear to be a solution. Soulwork systemic coaching offers
solutions.
[ Are you suicidal? ] [
Exit Coaching from Cults
]
Causes of Suicide
Although the alienation of modern society may contribute
to increased suicidal acts, suicidal depression is more likely following a
death of a partner, childlessness, a high standard of living,
bankruptcy, or diagnosis of serious mental disorders or physical
disease.
Adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) and people with
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have a higher risk of
suicidal behavior. Also, people (including police and military) who kill or
torture people may suicide after a period of PTSD, and/or substance
abuse and/or depression. Medals and citations can help
people get away with murder.
Suicidal behavior may follow military membership,
if the cause for which they fought is later exposed as lies. Soldiers who kill innocent people may decide to die, unless
somehow convinced that their killing was in a higher cause.
A similar cause is cult membership, if the cult is shown to be false.
A lost sense of life can result in a sense of death. Soulwork Exit Coaching
is appropriate.
Soulwork Systemic Coaching helps people find
solutions to cross-generational suicides in families, and helps prevent suicidal children
in future generations.
Types of Suicide
Suicide bombers are often single men who have
identified with victims in their family or community. People who identify with victims may be unable to imagine
future happiness. Instead, Victim Identification is characterized by anger,
rage, suspicion and aggression. Victim Identification may be dissolved with Systemic Coaching.
[
Identification ] [ Schizophrenia ] [
Depression ] [
Mental Health ]
Occasionally suicide is connected with insurance fraud,
where people attempt to provide for their families by dying. As life insurance
does not pay for suicidal deaths, a suicide may
be contrived to appear as an accidental death or murder.
Attempted Suicide
Attempted suicide may be an appeal for help and
attention. Some attempted suicides are accidentally fatal, while "failed"
fatal suicides may be dismissed as "attention seeking".
Some deaths by misadventure are related to
suicidal behavior. Young adults who die while attempting extreme physical or military
feats may be in this category. People who do not fear death may be
described as having a death wish.
Consequences of Suicide
A fatal suicide usually causes grief amongst family and friends;
especially for people who feel that they might have prevented it. A suicidal
death that becomes "taboo" in a family may have long-term
consequences. A member of the next generation may die to "follow" the dead
person. This is described in systemic coaching as Dead Person Identification (DPI). Soulwork systemic coaching includes
solutions for Dead Person Identification.
[
Identity Loss and
Identifications ] [
Consequences of Abortion ]
Teen Suicide
As most teenagers are highly
aware of each others moods and actions, a suicide by one teenager may
initiate one or more copycat suicides. A teenager may try to
punish parents, family or friends who were perceived as insufficiently interested in the
teenager's life. Deaths of parents, celebrities or other role models may
also motivate teenagers to consider suicide.
Stress & Suicide
Although support groups may help suicide survivors, the children of a suicide may need special attention
to avoid identifying with the dead parent - we call this dead person identification (see
DPI).
NOTE: Consult your physician regarding the
applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to
suicidal thoughts, medical symptoms or medical conditions.
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve emotional, educational
and relationship challenges.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002 - 2005. All right reserved.
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