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Suicide & Suicidal People

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich workshops on systemic coaching, relationship happiness, family chaos and healing the consequences of suicide. Email us if you would like a workshop in your area.

History of Suicide

In ancient Egypt, suicide was considered a humane way to escape intolerable conditions. However the Roman government outlawed suicide, promising eternal torture. As Roman emperors were also gods, imperial Roman law was both secular and religious. Many Roman laws were integrated into Judaism, Christianity and Islam, threatening suicidal slaves with everlasting punishment.

Some laws of slavery remain. Until recently, suicide attempts were punishable by both religious and criminal law in Western and Islamic countries. Although most criminal penalties for attempting suicide have been abolished, many political parties prohibit anyone from assisting a person who wants to die.

The true number of suicides may be double or triple official figures, as many suicides are described as accidental deaths, accidental drug overdoses, or a result of schizophrenia or depression. This contrasts with military organizations and prisons, in which deaths by violence may be reported as suicide to reduce workload, blame and publicity.

Suicide in Systems

Many suicidal people seem to act out the life-drama of a suicidal ancestor. If a parent or grand-parent committed suicide, a descendent can unconsciously identify with that ancestor, and relive that ancestor's crisis. Systemic disturbances (dead-person identification) requires systemic solutions. Relationships between the living and dead relatives can be resolved with Soulwork systemic coaching

Following a suicide in a family:

  • a child may die - perhaps as a miscarriage, stillborn or crib-death (cot death)
  • a grand-child may become suicidal (often at the same age as the ancestor's suicide)

Descendents can inherit a systemic disturbance - not genetically but systemically. In particular, the eldest child (especially if he or she was unborn or under the age of seven at the time of the suicide) is likely to take on a systemic (parental-emotional) burden.

A person strongly affected by a relationship with a dead person is often easy to recognize. A person with dead person identification is often melancholy; often depressed and often obsessed with death and dying. They often enjoy cemeteries and horror movies. They may consider themselves psychic and claim to channel ghosts or dead people.

Feedback

I tried to kill myself three times - and I never really knew why. Life was just too hard or too easy ... After three Soulwork sessions, I knew why ... I believe that it's changed - it's over. I can live my own life, and not my grandmother's suicide.  RI, Manchester, England

[ Ghosts ] [ Dead Person Identification ]

Intelligence, Depression & Suicide

Intelligent people are more likely to suicide if their lives lack sense. This seems especially true for people who step out of their shared subjective reality. Social scientists may find themselves increasingly detached from family and community relationships that motivate hope and effort.

(Intelligence is not always a survival trait. Less intelligent people may persevere when more intelligent people give up.)

Euthanasia: Assisted Suicide

Some people request assistance to end their suffering by voluntary death. Some countries seek to legalize assisted suicide for the terminally ill. Euthanasia is now openly available in Colombia and Holland; and Switzerland does not label assisted suicide as a crime. Roman laws remain - people are property and people choosing to die must be criminal, insane or damned.

Meaning of Life

A decision to die often represents a decision that "life does not make sense". Although decisions to suicide may be made as a result of pain, depression, disease or drugs; emotions such as guilt, anger, sadness and fear may play a strong role.

  • Guilt or shame about having harmed people
  • Anger or rage about violated values
  • Sadness or melancholy about lost opportunities for happiness
  • Fear or anxiety about future suffering

Suicidal thoughts may be a basis for a diagnosis of psychotic depression, often leading to psychoactive drugs and perhaps imprisonment. Suicide may also follow a diagnosis of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or during emotional conditions brought on by a crisis.

[ Depression ] [ Schizophrenia ] [ Bipolar Disorder ]

Suicide & Sense of Life

A person who lacks close or meaningful relationships and has no sense of life purpose, may be a suicide risk, even if the person is physically healthy and has material success. A meaningless life is also connected to depression. If life seems to lack sense, or if death seems to make more sense than life, then suicide may appear to be a solution. Soulwork systemic coaching offers solutions.

[ Are you suicidal? ] [ Exit Coaching from Cults ]

Causes of Suicide

Although the alienation of modern society may contribute to increased suicidal acts, suicidal depression is more likely following a death of a partner, childlessness, a high standard of living, bankruptcy, or diagnosis of serious mental disorders or physical disease.

Adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) and people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have a higher risk of suicidal behavior. Also, people (including police and military) who kill or torture people may suicide after a period of PTSD, and/or substance abuse and/or depression. Medals and citations can help people get away with murder.

Suicidal behavior may follow military membership, if the cause for which they fought is later exposed as lies. Soldiers who kill innocent people may decide to die, unless somehow convinced that their killing was in a higher cause. A similar cause is cult membership, if the cult is shown to be false. A lost sense of life can result in a sense of death. Soulwork Exit Coaching is appropriate.

Soulwork Systemic Coaching helps people find solutions to cross-generational suicides in families, and helps prevent suicidal children in future generations.

Types of Suicide

Suicide bombers are often single men who have identified with victims in their family or community. People who identify with victims may be unable to imagine future happiness. Instead, Victim Identification is characterized by anger, rage, suspicion and aggression. Victim Identification may be dissolved with Systemic Coaching.

[ Identification ] [ Schizophrenia ] [ Depression ] [ Mental Health ]

Occasionally suicide is connected with insurance fraud, where people attempt to provide for their families by dying. As life insurance does not pay for suicidal deaths, a suicide may be contrived to appear as an accidental death or murder.

Attempted Suicide

Attempted suicide may be an appeal for help and attention. Some attempted suicides are accidentally fatal, while "failed" fatal suicides may be dismissed as "attention seeking".

Some deaths by misadventure are related to suicidal behavior. Young adults who die while attempting extreme physical or military feats may be in this category. People who do not fear death may be described as having a death wish.

Consequences of Suicide

A fatal suicide usually causes grief amongst family and friends; especially for people who feel that they might have prevented it. A suicidal death that becomes "taboo" in a family may have long-term consequences. A member of the next generation may die to "follow" the dead person. This is described in systemic coaching as Dead Person Identification (DPI). Soulwork systemic coaching includes solutions for Dead Person Identification.

[ Identity Loss and Identifications ] [ Consequences of Abortion ]

Teen Suicide

As most teenagers are highly aware of each others moods and actions, a suicide by one teenager may initiate one or more copycat suicides. A teenager may try to punish parents, family or friends who were perceived as insufficiently interested in the teenager's life. Deaths of parents, celebrities or other role models may also motivate teenagers to consider suicide.

Stress & Suicide

Although support groups may help suicide survivors, the children of a suicide may need special attention to avoid identifying with the dead parent - we call this dead person identification (see DPI).

NOTE: Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to suicidal thoughts, medical symptoms or medical conditions.

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve emotional, educational and relationship challenges.

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002 - 2005. All right reserved.

Suicidal Crisis

If a person hints that he or she may suicide, promptly refer that person to an appropriate health professional. Perhaps telephone a health professional yourself, introduce yourself and your intent, then give the telephone to the maybe-suicidal person.

(Telephone the police if you don't know a health professional)


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  • All material on this website is copyright © 2001-2006 by Martyn Carruthers. All rights reserved. Commercial use is prohibited. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium is permitted with the express written permission of Martyn Carruthers. This material may be freely linked to by other electronic text. For more information, contact Jan Sikorski at +48 (22) 733 0357