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Systemic Solutions for Emotional Health
Family Constellations to Solve Problems © Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Do you want to solve emotional and relationship issues?

What is a System?

A system is a group of interacting elements. A system can be an electrical circuit or the ecology of a rainforest. Living systems are more complex than non-living systems, although many systems include both living and non-living elements.

Living systems can refer to parts of an organism, members of a group of organisms, or groups of organisms that interact with other groups of organisms. Living systems may interact with inanimate elements such as water or oil. Many living systems can affect your survival potential - your health.

Some Systemic Elements of You
Physical you Mental you Your relationships
Immune system

Lymphatic system

Digestive system

Your beliefs

Your values

Your identity

Your family-of-origin

Your friends

Your partners

Your organizations

Your communities

Your culture

Systemic Health

Your survival potential (health) is subject to internal and external constraints, as both a living system and as an element of many other living systems. If your environment is stable, you need make little or no change to survive. If your environment is unstable, you can survive by adapting or changing.

Sometimes your individual health is less important than the systemic health of a human system. You may, consciously or unconsciously, sacrifice your health for benefit the health of another person, for your family or for a your community. You may sacrifice yourself for someone else or for a common good.

Systemic Health = Survival Potential

Your survival potential reflects your health and your ability to cope with stress - which can be biological, physical or emotional stress. Your ability to cope with stress reflects your age, your physical health, your ethnic background, your education and your genetic heritage. Your survival potential depends on your relationships.

Your health reflects your available energy, your flexibility, your immunity and your motivation to cope with change. You can change your survivor potential by changing any of its components. Your body health is in an optimum state when your immune system, cellular system and endocrine systems are in stable equilibrium.

Excellent physical health often reflects excellent emotional health. If your heath suffers during stress, you can reactivate your health by exercise, diet and improving your relationships - all of which appears to stimulate your immune, cellular and endocrine systems.

Systemic Thinking & Systemic Intelligence

Systemic intelligence refers to behavior in a system that involves interaction and feedback both with elements within the system and with the environment. Systemic intelligence reflects an awareness of the influences of the system as well as the influences on the system.

Living systems adapt to their environment with systemic intelligence, and some will try to increase their systemic potential at the expense of other systems. Systems that may benefit from your not surviving may be systems that compete for your resources.

Competitive systems may include a thief who wants your computer, a person who wants your partner, a neighbor who wants your land, a rival team that wants your intellectual property or a country that wants your country's resources.

Systemic intelligence includes your life philosophy - an integral of your values and beliefs about yourself and your place in your systems and your environment. (The work of Clare Graves predicts how relationships evolve - and devolve - over time, due to systemic and environmental stressors).

Living systems that may benefit from your disease or death can aggressively reduce your survival potential. When living systems try to reduce your organization and energy potential, your systemic intelligence tries to generate an opposing reaction - to survive. You can survive aggressive interactions with other systems if you can counter their systemic potential.

Systemic success may be called adaptation or even evolution. A lack of adaptation can result in diseases of body, mind and spirit; or systemic destruction - disease, death, genocide or extinction.

Systemic Family Planning

You are affected by the history of your relatives (parents, siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts, grandparents, great-grandparents etc). Events that significantly influenced your family over the past few generations can cause significant resistance to success. For example, did anyone in your family:

  • Give a child for adoption?
  • Have an illegitimate child?
  • Commit or attempt suicide?
  • Experience traumatic events?
  • Die or suffer during childbirth?
  • Experience physical or mental disability?
  • Have an abortion, stillbirth or miscarriage?
  • Die in military service?
  • Commit a serious crime?
  • Suffer or die in a genocide?
  • Lose an inheritance or a fortune?
  • Never have an intimate partnership?
  • Have a former spouse, fiancé or partner?
  • Have a life-threatening accident or illness?

Uncovering these events need not require painstaking genealogical research - experience in systemic psychology often gives insights into family events. Sometimes, there ain't no such thing as family secrets.

You asked about my sadness ... then you asked if my mother had an abortion between me and a sibling. I was certain she had not, as my mother and I are very close ... I told my mother about your question ... she was shocked ... she had ... she said that it was in another town and that not even my father knew about it ... but how did you know? Warsaw, Poland

Individual Health in Human Systems

The onset of disease symptoms often seems to follow relationship problems and emotional chaos. If you experience relationship or emotional chaos, and you want to be happy, then your success, happiness and health may require that you:

  1. identify goals
  2. evaluate relationships
  3. change objections to goals
  4. clarify problematic relationships
  5. change toxic or limiting core beliefs
  6. heal the consequences of any trauma or abuse
  7. find appropriate mentors that support your life goals
  8. create healthy partnership, dynamic teams and supportive communities

Some keys to solving relationship problems are to know what you want, to know what other people want, to cooperate with those people to fulfill common goals and
to build harmony. We can coach you through all this.

Contact us to manage negative emotions and solve relationship issues

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, 2005-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email