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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? Soulwork Systemic Solutions can help you untangle
your life ... and you can help people reclaim their freedom.
Emotional Incest
Many teenage girls experience the consequences
of a father-daughter-mother triangle in which
the father's over-expressed love for the daughter motivates the mother to
reject both daughter and father. They are survivors of
emotional incest - adult
children of parents who inappropriately loved
their children ... see
Daddy's Princess and
Mother's Little Prince. This true story is
about an extreme case.
Troubled Teenagers
| My father
loves me very much but my mother disapproves of everything. She rejects
me and she calls me depressed and
hyperactive and worse ... I don't know what I did to hurt her - and I hurt too
... no matter how much sex, booze or grass, my hurt comes back ... when I'm alone,
I cry and scream. Sometimes I cut or burn myself.
Pain helps calm me feel calm ... for a while. I'm 17 years old and already I
have no future. |
Teenage girls who feel rejected by their mothers
react in many predictable ways. In more extreme cases they may ...
- be very thin - sometimes anorexic
- dye their hair in multiple colors
- prefer garish make-up - often shades of purple
- have self-inflicted piercings with unusual studs
- have red or white scars on their wrists and forearms
- have cuts or cigarette burns on their arms
- use or have used illegal drugs heavily
- take prescription anti-depressants
| Two months ago I tried to kill myself
by drinking cleaning fluid. But my best friend phoned the police. When the
hospital saw my wrists, they knew I'd tried to kill myself before.
They gave me anti-depressants and a suicide watch. At least they cared
that much. |
A common solution for depression is medication. The more expensive
anti-depressants are SSRI - selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft,
Prozac or Paxil. These
drugs increase serotonin in the brain.
Common Side Effects of SSRI
Anti-Depressants |
- Headaches
- Drowsiness
- Tremors
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- Nausea
- Upset stomach
- Diarrhea
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- Heavy sweating
- Disturbed sleep
- Decreased libido
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Many older and cheaper anti-depressants are
MAOI or
MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitors, with worse side effects.
MAO inhibitors such as Nardil, Parnate and Marplan may be prescribed when
other drugs fail. For side effects
of MAOI anti-depressants ... visit
Side Effects of MAOI.
Ritalin, an amphetamine, is a drug of choice prescribed for
hyperactivity and attention deficit disorders. Side effects associated with Ritalin
include irritability or anger and loss of appetite.
Many depressed survivors of emotional incest medicate
themselves with alcohol, nicotine and illegal drugs.
You may call these people addicts - we hear
their silent screams for help.
Attachment Disorders & Relationship Bonds
Emotional incest is
associated with attachment disorders and
relationship bonds that can affect all aspects of life.
Soulwork coaching offers solutions for:
- Behavior: defiant, impulsive,
destructive, lies and steals, aggressive and abusive, hyperactive,
self-destructive, cruel, irresponsible
- Emotions: intense anger, sadness,
depressed, hopeless, moody, anxious, irritable
- Thoughts: limiting self-beliefs, poor
friendship skills, attention and learning problems
- Relationships: no trust,
controlling, manipulative, unstable relationships, victimizer
- Physical: poor hygiene, accidents,
dissociated, depressed, hyperactive
- Moral/Spiritual: lack of
compassion, remorse, meaning, identifies with darkness
Medication is the common way to manage (not cure) these
symptoms. Medication is not the only way - but may be the easiest way to manage
symptoms. Systemic coaching offers long-term solutions.
Teenage Sex
| Last year
I started having sex with my 37 year old social worker. He told me that he
could teach me about sex. He is gentle. He has other young girls - he said
he doesn't want a girl over 18.
He wants two or three girls together but I said no to that. |
Sexual intercourse with many partners
increases the risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted
diseases and damaged reproductive health. Studies show that
girls who start having sex at young ages often have many
sexual partners. Also, teenage girls who have sex with more
than one partner over a few weeks are more likely to smoke,
drink alcohol, use illegal drugs and / or sniff glue.
These behaviors are likely to hurt a girl's health,
education, sport abilities, future partnership and / or future children, unless the
behaviors are assimilated and any trauma or guilt dissolved.
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I know lots of girls like me but my best friend is
more stable. We sometimes sleep together ... people
call us bisexual but our boyfriends say its OK. We go to a girl's boarding
school ... some days its more like a
psychiatric hospital for rich girls. Not many of us will go to
university unless our parents bribe somebody. |
Medication is not the only way. Soulwork systemic
coaching can resolve relationship entanglements. But few people can imagine that
effective resolution is possible in short time frames.
[ Individual Coaching . Couple Coaching .
Family Coaching ]
Systemic Solutions
People who were abandoned or rejected by parents may become
emotional or trance-like if asked about their
goals. They may be diagnosed with
Depression, Bipolar Disorder or
Schizophrenia. They may
- be unable to specify goals
- avoid finishing projects
- offer endless excuses for their behavior
- express anxiety and strong emotions
- distract themselves with obsessions
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Reading your article brought
flashbacks of my walk on the wild side ... fortunately I was not so creative
in my self-destruction. I found some healthy mentors and:
* I changed my values and beliefs about who controls my life
* I avoided unfriendly environments and considered seclusion
* I enjoyed the therapeutic roles of nature and a dog named Gigi
* I decided that my life is sacred and that I deserve to be here I was sick and tired of suffering.
I took responsibility for my life and found better options than being
a victimizer, victim or helper! MB Zagreb Croatia |
Soulwork Systemic Solutions can help you
find rapid relief from the consequences of emotional incest or
physical abuse. Soulwork offers an integrated coaching system that helps people resolve relationship and emotional problems.
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