Are you entangled in difficult relationships or negative emotions?
Do you want to untangle your emotions and solve relationship
Emotional Incest - A True Story
Many teenage girls suffer the consequences
of a father-daughter-mother triangle in which
a father's over-expressed love for the daughter may motivate a mother to
reject both her daughter and her husband. (Such parents are often survivors of covert
emotional incest - whose parents loved their children inappropriately).
This is a true story - these excerpts of
conversations are mildly
edited and posted with permission.
Troubled Teenagers & Silent Screams
... My father loves me but my mother
disapproves of everything I do. She rejects me and she calls me depressed and
hyperactive and worse ... I don't know what I did to hurt her - and I hurt too
... no matter how much sex, booze or grass, my hurt comes back ...
alone, I cry and scream. Sometimes I cut or burn myself.
Pain helps me
feel calm ... for a while. I
feel that I have no future ... I'm 17 years old
Teenage girls who feel rejected by their mothers
react in many predictable ways. In our experience, these girls often ...
- stay thin - sometimes anorexic
- take prescription anti-depressants
- use or have used illegal drugs heavily
- have cuts or cigarette burns on their arms
- have self-inflicted piercing with unusual studs
- prefer garish make-up - often shades of purple
... a few months ago I tried to kill myself. But my best friend phoned the police. When they
saw my wrists, they knew I'd tried to kill myself before. They gave me
antidepressants and a suicide watch. At least they cared that much.
Although we find that depression usually reflects relationship
issues, a common solution for depression is medication. The more expensive
anti-depressants are SSRI - selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft, Prozac or Paxil. These drugs increase
serotonin in the brain. But if depression reflects relationship problems,
then drugs, legal or illegal, are unlikely to heal
Common Side Effects of SSRI Anti-Depressants
- Upset stomach
- Heavy sweating
- Disturbed sleep
- Decreased libido
Many older, cheaper anti-depressants are MAOI
(MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitors), with worse side effects.
MAO inhibitors such as Nardil, Parnate and Marplan
may be prescribed when other drugs fail. (Google the side effects of MAOI
Ritalin, an amphetamine, is a drug of choice for
hyperactivity and attention deficit
disorders. Side effects of Ritalin
include irritability, anger and loss of appetite.
Many depressed survivors of emotional incest
medicate themselves with alcohol, nicotine and illegal drugs.
You may despise these people as addicts ... unless you can hear their silent screams for help.
Attachment Disorders & Relationship Bonds
Covert emotional incest can generate limiting beliefs and
behaviors that can affect all aspects of life.
We offer coaching solutions for:
- Behaviors: defiant, impulsive,
destructive, lies and steals, aggressive and abusive, hyperactive,
self-destructive, cruel, irresponsible
- Emotions: intense anger, sadness, depressed, hopeless, moody,
- Thoughts: limiting beliefs, poor
friendship skills, attention and learning problems
- Relationships: no trust, controlling, manipulative, unstable
- Physical: poor hygiene, accidents,
dissociated, depressed, hyperactive
- Moral/Spiritual: lack of
compassion, remorse, meaning, identifies with darkness
Psychoactive edication is a popular way to manage (but not cure) these
symptoms. Medication hides symptoms and is often recommended by medical authorities.
... Last year
I started having sex with my social worker. He told me that he
would teach me about sex. He is gentle. He has other young girls - he said
he doesn't want a girl over 18.
He wants two or three of his girls
together but I said no to that. I don't know why.
Sexual intercourse with many partners
increases the risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted
diseases and damaged reproductive health. Studies show that
girls who start having sex at young ages often have many
sexual partners. Also, teenage girls who have sex with more
than one partner over a few weeks are more likely to smoke,
drink alcohol, use illegal drugs and / or sniff glue.
These behaviors are likely to hurt a girl's health,
education, sport abilities, future partnership and / or future
children, unless the underlying emotions are assimilated and
any trauma or abuse resolved.
... I know lots of girls who are like me
but my best friend is more stable.
We sometimes sleep together ... people
call us bisexual but our boyfriends say its OK. We go to a girl's boarding
school ... some days its more like a
mental hospital for rich girls. Some of us will only go to
university if our parents bribe somebody ... or if we seduce somebody ... it
happens a lot.
Medication is not the only way. We help
people manage relationship problems, although people who
have not witnessed our work can rarely imagine that such fast, effective solutions
are even possible.
We Help Parents Help Children
Adolescents and teenagers who feel abandoned or rejected by their parents may
become sad, anxious or angry if asked about their goals or their lives. They
- avoid finishing projects
- be unable to specify goals
- express powerful limiting beliefs
- distract themselves with obsessions
- express anxiety and strong emotions
- offer endless excuses for their behavior
Contact us to
solve emotional and relationship problems.
Online Help for Emotional
and Relationship Issues
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
1999-2017 All rights reserved