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We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich
workshops on systemic coaching, resolving family chaos and
relationship bonds. Email us if you would like a workshop in your
area.
Systemic Coaching: Emotions and Relationships
Coaching is not medicine, psychotherapy nor
counseling. Systemic Coaching integrates systems thinking, success coaching
and health coaching with expert modeling. Systemic coaching helps dissolve relationship problems
... and their consequences!
- explore and change your life,
your emotions and your relationships
- solve your
personal, emotional and family problems
- dissolve relationship problems that manifest as
physical and mental disease
Systemic Coaching & Mental Health
Systemic Coaching can help you prevent chronic
mental disease, help you deal with the challenges of chronic disease, and help
you resolve the symptoms of chronic disease. Coaching also provides
you with emotional support during difficult times; and helps you help your
friends or family members to complete their lives peacefully.
Recognizable sets of symptoms are called diseases. A mental
health disease interferes
with normal day-to-day function of living. Mental diseases may be primarily
existential (e.g. non-stop or all-of-life), contextual
(e.g. only with certain triggers, such as toxins or allergens) or systemic (only within a
certain human
relationship system, such as a family or team).
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Systemic mental
disease
interferes with the normal structure or function of human systems. A
systemic disease may manifest as relationship conflicts,
codependence, symbiosis or toxic relationship bonds.
Systemic relationship coaching can help maintain and even improve
quality relationships during emotional stress or the presence of physical disease
symptoms.
[
Relationship Coaching ]
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Systemic Coaching & Psychotherapy
You are a member of many human systems. Your
family of origin, the family that you co-create, your work, your association
or union, your community and your country ... these are all systems that you
belong to. One way that you can solve problems is by changing the attitudes
and interactions within the relevant system. A systemic coach or therapist
considers individual problems as reflecting a system. By
focusing on the patterns of relationships, a systemic coach can find
solutions that are literally beyond the imagination of system members.
Disease in a family can challenge all family
members. If you or a
member of your family have been diagnosed with serious mental disease, it will affect your
life. This web page describes health and disease, lists common complications
and describes how coaching benefits a family.
[
Origin of
Therapeutic Coaching .
Expert Modeling
.
More Resources ]
Mental Health Coaching
Good mental health is often gloomily described as an absence of pain or suffering.
A coach may describe good mental health as your state of wellbeing
- a sense of integrity and wholeness - a state of
connectedness that transcends physical sensations or perceptions of
relationships. Transcendence does not depend on the presence or absence
of disease symptoms!
[
When Disease
Makes Sense ]
A coach can motivate you, support
you, identify your strengths and
expose what holds you back. It helps you find your way, to discover the creative solutions you need to
achieve your goals. We can provide a helping hand - or a helping foot!
Coaching and mentorship helps you
focus on health, set goals and define strategies. Good coaching
encourages personal development as you learn how to cope with health problems.
Pain & Pain Coaching
Your pain can be described as unpleasant sensory and
emotional experience caused by real or imaginary injury to your
body. Pain warns you of injury; and protects you from further injury by
motivating
you to withdraw from the source of injury. Pain also motivates you to reduce
your activity,
which often enables your injuries to heal.
Pain may have emotional, relationship or psychological components.
You may express
extreme discomfort from relatively minor injuries, or you may express
little or no pain after a severe injury. Sometimes you may feel pain without apparent injury, or after
an injury appears to have healed.
[
Fast Pain Control .
Long
Term Pain Relief ]
Suffering
Your suffering might be generally described as an experience
of psychological distress. Your suffering may have resulted from striving for
senseless goals; from participating in unsatisfying relationships or from
witnessing abuse or destruction. Systemic Coaching can help you - by
making sense of your suffering - to control and diminish it.
Systemic Coaching includes solutions for some basic
causes of suffering: guilt, relationship chaos, meaningless life,
emotional trauma and post-traumatic stress-disorders.
Birth is suffering; decay is suffering; death is suffering; sorrow, lamentation,
pain, grief, and despair, are suffering; not to get what one
desires, is suffering...
Buddha (About 500 BC) |
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Suffering
does not ennoble; it degrades. It makes men selfish, mean, petty and
suspicious. It absorbs them in small things ... it makes them less than
men.
Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) |
Death
Although your human life is a temporary luxury, we perceive that "Nobody dies -
only bodies". After the death of your body, you live on ... in
your children ... in the hearts of your family and in the minds of your friends ...
and in the consequences of your actions.
Death provides a
background against which you can examine your life. Systemic Coaching includes helping you prepare for death by completing the "loose
ends" of your life, perhaps making a will and communicating your last wishes to family
and friends. Systemic coaching also provides ways by which you can experience transcendent consciousness
- an "eternal you" or state of integrity - which seems to not
depend on or require a living body. (We call this experience Soul - the
Soul of Soulwork). "What was not born - cannot die."
[
Soul of
Soulwork .
Psychobiology of Soul
]
Psychiatry Alternative
Psychiatry is a branch of medicine - the science of diagnosing, treating, and preventing
mental disease and disability - to help people live longer, happier, more active lives
with less suffering and degeneration. Drug companies hire medical researchers
in a constant search for new drugs. Soulwork Systemic Coaching offers a human
alternative to the drug industry.
[
Therapeutic Coaching and Mental Illness ]
To get a more accurate diagnosis: list your symptoms as they occur,
what may have triggered them and exactly when they appeared. Bring this list
to your psychologist, psychiatrist or psychotherapist. List any prescription and over-the-counter
drugs you take. Ask about the known psychological and emotional side effects of any diagnosed
disease and any medications.
Common Emotional Effects of Medications
- Oral contraceptives can cause worsen depression
- Steroids can cause anxiety, depression, mood swings,
hallucinations
- Sleeping drugs can cause memory loss, confusion, difficulty
concentrating
- Decongestants and appetite suppressants can cause anxiety
- Ulcer drugs can cause depression
Mental Side
Effects of Prescription Drugs
Discuss the psychological and emotional effects of medications with a physician. If
your physician will not talk to you about your prescription, perhaps find
a physician who will.
Alternative Medicine
Alternative medicine emphasizes your quality of life, disease
prevention, and conditions with which conventional medicine has limited
success, such as chronic back pain and some cancers. Despite skepticism
from mainstream medicine, many
alternative healers believe that their approaches to healing are safer,
holistic and
more natural, and have been shown to be effective through experience.
(Many components of alternative healing are being adopted by
licensed medical practitioners, who then try to outlaw their unlicensed competitors.)
A
medical doctor's review .
Origins
Many health professionals use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM
IV) or the International Classification of Diseases
(ICD), which define mental illnesses by symptoms and characteristics.
However, the described symptoms often overlap, differ from person to person, and people may
simultaneously display more than one set of recognizable characteristics.
All
mental health diagnoses are opinions ... tests cannot measure mental health
diseases.
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Psychosis is
exaggerated normality! |
Therapeutic Coaching does not attempt to diagnose or
treat mental
illness. Instead, it explores what you want; and identifies your challenges
or blocks that prevent you healing yourself. We coach you to define healthy goals and to
overcome obstacles that prevent you fulfilling your goals.
Coaching and Mental Illness . Is Soulwork
"New Age"?
Coaching and Autoimmune Disease
Your disease may be an autoimmune disease -
your body's own immune system attacks and destroys your own cells. Therapeutic Coaching
can provide relief from some allergies and offer ways to control some symptoms
of autoimmune disease. Diseases considered to have an autoimmune origin
include myasthenia, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and some cancers.
[
Lupus
. Allergies .
Herpes . Chronic Fatigue
]
Systemic Coaching & Psychosomatic Disease
Most diseases have psychosomatic components.
Yet the term is mostly used for...
- People who report physical symptoms that a doctor
cannot explain
- People who report blindness, deafness or paralysis
without a somatic cause
- People who fear disease and interpret any symptom
as evidence of disease
Symptoms can provide benefits for the individual, the family,
the work team or the community. Systemic Coaching explores the benefits of
disease symptoms, with a
goal of maintaining the benefits in such ways that symptoms become redundant.
Example benefits are:
- A symptom prevents you from doing something you do not want to do
(E.g. “I cannot go to my hated job because I am sick.”)
- A symptom causes you to
do something that you want to do, but, without the symptoms, would not
do (E.g. “I can only rest when I am ill.”)
- A symptom causes someone to do something that he
or she would not otherwise do (E.g. “My
partner is nice to me only when I am unwell!”)
- A symptom is
accepted as punishment (E.g. “I deserve to have this problem!”)
Systemic Coaching & Relationships
Many diseases, especially the repetitive
symptoms of chronic disease, seem to have relationship as well as physiological causes.
What are the relationship benefits of disease. Is the
person more loved when sick? Does a child's disease hold the family together? Does
a disease provide a punishment for perceived lack of justice? A systemic
psychology can identify and dissolve relationship conflicts that may prevent
wellness.
The lifestyle consequences of health and healing are not
always desirable. Would health require an important decision to be made? Would
health require a return to a hated job? A Therapeutic
Coach can identify and help dissolve lifestyle conflicts that may prevent
wellness.
Psychological Complications
Systemic psychology is a new science, offering deep
insights into health and
disease. Systemic relationship and emotional difficulties may affect your
body's hormone balance - which can cause psychological problems. Common
psychological factors are:
- Are professional medical instructions followed?
- Relationships with family, friends and helping
professionals
- Managing emotions, beliefs and stress
- Managing anxiety and depression
Avoid Medical Treatment?
People who avoid prescribed medical treatment may
- Distrust or dislike of the health professional
- Want benefits from the disease symptoms
- Fear the side effects of the drugs or operation
- Perceive the treatment as damaging to your body,
mind or spirit
- Want to die but not want to suicide (see
Suicide)
Relationships with families, friends and professionals
Relationships imply differences - expressed conflicts are usually a sign of health.
Unexpressed or hidden conflicts can be more dangerous to relationship
health than hiding the conflicts.
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Where there is
conflict - there is energy, interest and desire for change!
Martyn Carruthers |
A sick person may sometimes show severe mood swings resulting from the disease or from the treatment. A
person may be unaware of the effects of these swings; in each moment acting as if the current
emotion or idea is a basis for long-term decisions.
Mood swings can distress the patient, family members,
friends and business associates -
especially if the patient cannot remember what was said or promised during
emotional states. Systemic Coaching offers speedy solutions for emotional
outbursts and short term or intermittent amnesia.
Managing Emotions, Beliefs and Stress
Limiting Emotions
- Guilt about harmed or ignored relationships
- Anger about perceived causes; blaming and
criticizing
- Fear of complications or shortened life
- Sadness about lost opportunities for happiness
Limiting Beliefs
- Causes of disease
- Severity disease
- Treatment effectiveness
- Self-image and self-respect
Stress
Stress may stimulate hormones that interact with drugs and disrupt
metabolic control. Stress-induced emotions can disrupt a person’s relationships
and routines, and affect disease management. A patient’s
emotional needs and problems are important components of health management.
Systemic Coaching
explores and redefines the fundamental relationships between
disease and life.
[
Control Stress Forever ]
Depression
In Therapeutic Coaching,
depression is seen as a healthy
response to an unhealthy environment. Often the
underlying issue is guilt. Depressive guilt results from:
-
abuse, betrayal or abandonment (violating trust, for example
betraying a partner)
-
relationship transferences (mistaking one person for
another, e.g. perceiving a partner or ex-partner as an abandoned child).
Depression may make it harder to follow medical treatment.
Treatment for depression helps people manage disease, for both survival and quality of life.
Symptoms of Depression
If these or similar symptoms are present each day for a few
weeks; and interfere with daily activities such as work, self-care, child-care
or social life; seek professional help.
- Sadness, anxiety, emptiness, restless and irritable;
- Feeling hopeless, helpless or pessimistic;
- Feeling guilt, worthlessness, helplessness;
- Loss of interest or pleasure in sex;
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were
once enjoyed;
- Decreased energy, fatigue;
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions;
- Insomnia and/or major sleep changes;
- Appetite and/or major weight changes;
- Preoccupation with death or suicide;
- Suicide attempts
If you think you may be depressed, or if you know someone who
is, seek professional help.
Depression . Schizophrenia .
Bipolar Disorder .
Suicide
Consult your physician about opinions about
anxiety, depression or other medical conditions.
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training?
We train people to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve a wide range
of emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
Systemic Coaching
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Systemic Mentorship
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- Short-term lime-limited coaching for
specific mental health issues
- We can provide a helping hand - or a
helping foot!
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- Long-term time-limited relationship mentorship for general life issues
- We can "hold a hand" through difficult
situations such as surgery and dying
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For talks, conferences and workshops, email:
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Soulwork Systemic Coaching is designed for and used by therapists
and coaches, priests and ministers, consultants and managers, advisors,
counselors and doctors, psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists,
clinicians, marriage therapists and family counselors, personal coaches,
personal development coaches and organizational development coaches,
business coaches, business consultants and OD consultants, private and
general practitioners, helping professionals, counselors and leadership
development, leadership trainers, facilitators and spiritual counselors, HR
managers, NLP practitioners, human resources specialists and spiritual
advisors, mentors, tutors and lawyers, representatives, teachers and
addiction counselors, relationship counselors, personal trainers and fitness
advisors, nutrition counselors, holistic health practitioners and
hypnotherapists and other professional hypnotists.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2003, 2009 All rights reserved |
