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We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich workshops on systemic
coaching, partnership, resolving family chaos and relationship bonds.
Email us if you would like a workshop in your area.
Truth or Consequences
Relationships have consequences. Whenever you start, change or
end a relationship, for example with a friend, a colleague or a partner, your
can use emotional intelligence to predict the consequences.
Your consequences of hurting a person, such as cheating, abandoning or betraying
that person, include a burden of guilt that may depress your future
relationships and your life.
The
consequences of behaving with integrity, acting appropriately with
respect and courtesy, produce peace and self-respect that can empower
and enhance relationships. Such
uplift often follows mentoring or coaching relationships.
Although therapy and counseling can help you cope
with chaotic relationships, and psychoactive drugs can help you avoid
unpleasant emotions, you can sort out a mess with Soulwork systemic
coaching.
It's not fair!
You started learning relationship skills as a child,
when you experienced many significant
relationships. Perhaps your family was a warm and loving environment,
where you learned to see people with respect and dignity. Or perhaps you
grew up in a home where hurting people was normal, or where integrity
was seen as stupidity.
Although your early
family still influences you, your actions and reactions can be your
own. Although you may be emotionally entangled with other family
members, your decisions and the consequences of your decisions can be
forever yours.
Your consequences don't care about how good were your
intentions. And your children must deal with
the consequences of your decisions, as you sort out the consequences of
your ancestors' choices.
Perhaps life is not fair - but
it's rarely too late. If you are motivated to develop yourself and you
are responsible for your life, you can change unwanted behavior.
Mind your Body - Embody your Mind
Research by developmental specialists indicate:
- Your emotional, physical and neurological
development took place simultaneously in your childhood and
adolescence, and are inextricably linked within your emotional
intelligence. (You
can change one by changing another.)
- Your "body-mind" organizes and synchronizes
adaptive patterns in your nervous, immune, endocrine, sensory,
neuropeptide, cognitive, and emotional systems. (You
can change your life by changing your emotional intelligence.)
- Your senses (vision, hearing, balance,
smell-taste, touch) filter your sensory information. (You can control stress by organizing your
sensory information.)
- You store your emotions as neuro-peptides in your
nerve tissue. (You can activate your neural networks to access
and change your emotions.)
- Your emotions are encoded in state-dependent
learning. (You can review, update and integrate your emotional memories
to match your present conditions.)
- Your emotions reflect your history, trauma and defense
responses. (You
can change no-longer-appropriate responses that you learned in
childhood and adolescence.)
- Your emotional update will reflect your development from
conception onwards. (You can utilize and
change your subjective structure of time.)
You can balance your emotions, your family
dynamics and your interpersonal behavior to identify and change
inappropriate childish reactions. You can increase your pleasure of life
by stabilizing your emotions, changing your behavior and dissolving your
trauma, with Soulwork Systemic Coaching.
Emotional Intelligence, Guilt & Depression
If you feel that you have hurt one or more people,
guilt is likely to depress your life until you resolve it.
Here are some common ways that you may find that you depress
your own life:
- Avoid completing your essential tasks
- Ignore important details and problems
- Procrastinate, even when know what you have to do
- Avoid balancing or keeping track of your finances
- Do things that create relationship problems
- Alienate your family members and people who support you
You can quickly sort out guilt issues with Soulwork
Systemic Coaching.
[ Depression
]
Emotional Intelligence & Happiness
You expose your emotional intelligence in every
relationship. Your communication and social skills reflect
your perception of yourself and of others. Your behavior
produces ongoing feedback about your moods, thoughts, fantasies, beliefs,
values and insights; and about your identity and purpose.
If you hide or suppress your emotions, you can trigger pain centers in your brain.
Current events that trigger strong emotions and psychosomatic symptoms often
express your memories - not your current reality. Your emotions can create
feelings of anxiety, threat, discomfort and even 'impending disaster'.
You can educate your nervous system to focus on pleasure
instead of pain. You can experience pleasure as a feeling of
"everything is okay" or "everything is
possible" or "I am where I should be" etc.
Illusions of happiness (e.g. supplied by psychoactive drugs) are generally
short-term, and can result in stress or depression. Your long-term joyful
subjective reality requires an experience of acceptance and acknowledgement that supports your
appropriate actions and reactions within your objective reality.
You can learn how to experience and
stabilize integrity with Soulwork Systemic Coaching.
[ Soulwork ] [
Soul of Soulwork ] [
Human Consciousness ]
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to
resolve emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2003, 2005 All rights reserved. |
