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Systemic Solutions for Old Relationships
Systemic Solutions © Martyn Carruthers

We present coaching and training on unpleasant emotions, partnership issues,
resolving family chaos and limiting beliefs.

Truth or Consequences

Relationships have consequences. Whenever you start, change or end a relationship, for example with a friend, a colleague or a partner, your can use emotional intelligence to predict the consequences.

Your consequences of hurting a person, such as cheating, abandoning or betraying that person, include a burden of guilt that may depress your future relationships and your life.

The consequences of behaving with integrity, acting appropriately with respect and courtesy, produce peace and self-respect that can empower and enhance relationships. Such uplift often follows mentoring or coaching relationships.

Although therapy and counseling can help you cope with chaotic relationships, and psychoactive drugs can help you avoid unpleasant emotions, you can sort out a mess with Soulwork systemic coaching.

It's not fair!

You started learning relationship skills as a child, when you experienced many significant relationships. Perhaps your family was a warm and loving environment, where you learned to see people with respect and dignity. Or perhaps you grew up in a home where hurting people was normal, or where integrity was seen as stupidity.

Although your early family still influences you, your actions and reactions can be your own. Although you may be emotionally entangled with other family members, your decisions and the consequences of your decisions can be forever yours.

Your consequences don't care about how good were your intentions. And your children must deal with the consequences of your decisions, as you sort out the consequences of your ancestors' choices.

Perhaps life is not fair - but it's rarely too late. If you are motivated to develop yourself and you are responsible for your life, you can change unwanted behavior.

Mind your Body - Embody your Mind

Research by developmental specialists indicate:

1. Your emotional, physical and neurological development took place simultaneously in your childhood and adolescence, and are inextricably linked within your emotional intelligence. (You can change one by changing another.)
2. Your "body-mind" organizes and synchronizes adaptive patterns in your nervous, immune, endocrine, sensory, neuropeptide, cognitive, and emotional systems. (You can change your life by changing your emotional intelligence.)
3. Your senses (vision, hearing, balance, smell-taste, touch) filter your sensory information. (You can control stress by organizing your sensory information.)
4. You store your emotions as neuro-peptides in your nerve tissue. (You can activate your neural networks to access and change your emotions.)
5. Your emotions are encoded in state-dependent learning. (You can review, update and integrate your emotional memories to match your present conditions.)
6. Your emotions reflect your history, trauma and defense responses. (You can change no-longer-appropriate responses that you learned in childhood and adolescence.)
7. Your emotional update will reflect your development from conception onwards. (You can utilize and change your subjective structure of time.)

You can balance your emotions, your family dynamics and your interpersonal behavior to identify and change inappropriate childish reactions. You can increase your pleasure of life by stabilizing your emotions, changing your behavior and dissolving your trauma, with Soulwork Systemic Coaching.

Emotional Intelligence, Guilt & Depression

If you feel that you have hurt one or more people, guilt is likely to depress your life until you resolve it. Here are some common ways that you may find that you depress your own life:

• Avoid completing your essential tasks
• Ignore important details and problems
• Procrastinate, even when know what you have to do
• Avoid balancing or keeping track of your finances
• Do things that create relationship problems
• Alienate your family members and people who support you

You can quickly sort out guilt issues with Soulwork Systemic Coaching.

Depression

Emotional Intelligence & Happiness

You expose your emotional intelligence in every relationship. Your communication and social skills reflect your perception of yourself and of others. Your behavior produces ongoing feedback about your moods and may avoid completing your essential tasks:

You can quickly sort out guilt issues with Systemic Coaching.

Depression

Emotional Intelligence & Happiness

You expose your emotional intelligence in every relationship. Your communication and social skills reflect your perception of yourself and of others. Your behavior produces ongoing feedback about your moods, thoughts, fantasies, beliefs, values and insights; and about your identity and purpose.

If you hide or suppress your emotions, you can trigger pain centers in your brain. Current events that trigger strong emotions and psychosomatic symptoms often express your memories - not your current reality. Your emotions can create feelings of anxiety, threat, discomfort and even 'impending disaster'.

You can educate your nervous system to focus on pleasure instead of pain. You can experience pleasure as a feeling of everything is okay or everything is possible or I am where I should be etc.

Illusions of happiness (e.g. supplied by psychoactive drugs) are generally short-term, and can result in stress or depression. Your long-term joyful subjective reality requires an experience of acceptance and acknowledgement that supports your appropriate actions and reactions within your objective reality.

You can learn how to experience and stabilize integrity with Soulwork Systemic Coaching.

Soulwork . Soul of Soulwork . Human Consciousness

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve emotional and relationship challenges.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2003-2005 All rights reserved.