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Vanishing Twins & Womb Twin Survivors
Searching for Completion Martyn Carruthers

Online Help for Womb Twin Survivors


Do you feel sad, alone or incomplete? Do you seek a Soul Mate?
Many people attempt to control such feelings with distractions and drugs.
We help people change the consequences associated with losing a womb-twin.

Human twins are famous for a closeness that seems to begin in their mother's womb. Although most people forget their pre-birth experiences, most twins share strong bonds throughout their lives. If a twin dies, the surviving twin will likely experience unpleasant emotional consequences .

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH, A PREGNANCY,
OR THE HEALTH OF A CHILD, PLEASE CONSULT A MEDICAL DOCTOR

Perhaps the idea of vanishing twins began in ancient Greece. Over 2000 years ago, the philosopher Plato wrote that people are conceived perfect, and then split in half by the god Zeus. Plato described human loneliness, the desire for lost perfection and searching for twin souls ... sometimes called twin flames.

... and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself,
the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and
one will not be out of the other's sight even for a moment ...
Plato (340 BC)

Most multiple pregnancies result in single babies. Although ultrasound technology can identify multiple pregnancies very early in pregnancy, technicians may be instructed not to tell the mothers, nor record the existence of more than one fetus, to avoid feelings of grief or loss. They know that later ultrasound scans will show mostly singletons. Most twins will have vanished.

I was told that I would have twin babies ... twins are common in my family ... but a month later they said that there was only one heartbeat. My disappointment was worse than I could have imagined, even though I have a lovely baby girl.
After our work on this I felt enormously better.
London

When a twin disappears, the surviving twin may develop emotional problems, even if the child is not told that a twin vanished. Dr. William Baldwin wrote in Spirit Releasement Therapy that a dead twin attaches its soul to the surviving twin. Dr. Alice Rose wrote in Coping with Eating Disabilities that some eating disorders are the result of a twin dying in the womb due to competition for nourishment. But one twin cannot eat the other, as is sometimes reported. That's a myth-take.

Dr. Michael Newton, author of Destiny of Souls, disagreed with the notion of twin souls. He wrote that his clients have primary soul-mates rather than twin souls.

My twin died during childbirth ... I always felt sad about this, but I created a very successful business as if I was two people working together. Thanks for helping me sort this out!  Prague

If a multiple pregnancy results in one live birth, the surviving child might feel that an important person is missing. This may motivate a search for the missing person, often called a soul twin or soul mate, with high expectations of happiness and hopes of fulfillment. (We also find that people with aborted siblings often spend their lives seeking, for example, their wounded or missing older brothers or younger sisters).

Are You a Womb Twin?
Are you a womb twin? We can help you explore this issue and
change unpleasant consequences. If you have not experienced
our innovative methodology, perhaps this is an opportunity for you.

If you search for a soul mate, you will find transferences - seeming perfect partners whom you later reject as inadequate. If you transfer a dead twin onto a living person, your subsequent devotion to and later dismissal of that person can cause huge suffering, especially if he or she simultaneously transfers a dead sibling onto you. We help people sort out this and other complex relationship issues.

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

In-vitro means in glass. Couples who cannot conceive naturally may visit an in-vitro or IVF laboratory where egg cells from the woman are fertilized in vitro, usually with the husband's sperm. Some of those embryos can be implanted in the woman's uterus. Most embryos are discarded - very few develop into living babies. (See Infertility)

Hundreds of thousands of human embryo die in IVF clinics. Sadly, unwanted embryos are treated as garbage, although their stem cells may be extracted for sale or for research. (We are researching the emotional and behavioral consequences of people created by in-vitro fertilization or by embryo transfer.)

Vanishing twin syndrome was described by Dr. Stoeckel in 1945 as multiple gestation with subsequent disappearance of one or more fetus. Vanishing twin syndrome is more often diagnosed since ultrasound was used during early pregnancy. Statistics vary, but about 90% of twins die or vanish before birth. This is also called Twin Embolization Syndrome.

The twin birth rate is about 3% while the twin conception rate may be 30%.
This suggests a 1 in 3 chance that you shared your mother's womb with a twin.

The death of a fetal twin is a high risk factor for cerebral palsy. When a fraternal twin dies in the womb, the prevalence of cerebral palsy in a surviving twin is increased by a factor of 40 (8%, compared to a general prevalence of 0.2%), perhaps due to variations in the fetal blood supply (U of Liverpool 2003).

Since our last session I have been feeling a lot better. Although "vanishing twin" sounds weird, I feel that something has really shifted! I feel a lot lighter and my sadness seems to have gone. Rosemaree Shalhoub, Sydney, Australia

Occasionally, a dead fetus (fetus papyraceous) may be found in the afterbirth. Sometimes, remains of the missing fetus are found within the womb twin survivor, perhaps in a teratoma tumor. Occasionally, a tiny skeleton is seen within an x-ray of an adult or is discovered during surgery. Whichever way, twins can vanish.

2008 Dr. Paul Grabb, a pediatric surgeon, removed a tumor from the brain of a Colorado Springs infant. The tumor contained a tiny foot and other partially formed body parts.

If the fetuses of fraternal twins merge, a chimera is formed with two sets of DNA.
(If the fetuses of identical twins merge ... all body cells will have the same DNA).

Are You a Chimera?

A womb twin survivor may have different DNA in different parts of the body. Some eggs fertilized by a sperm cell split into identical twins. Two eggs fertilized by two sperm cells create fraternal twins. If one baby develops with body cells from two different fetus ... the result is called a chimera ... a fusion of fraternal twins.

A human chimera with two sets of DNA, in different parts of the body, may experience a conflict of identity. If a fetus assimilated both male and female cells, sexual confusion might be anticipated. See Sex Change

Online Help for Womb Twin Survivors

Part 2: Consequences of Missing, Dead or Vanishing Twins

Some people unconsciously identify with a dead family member - especially if that person died in a way that induces guilt. Such identification is common, for example, following a suicide, abortions ... or the death of a sibling. We often help people change deep-seated compulsions and identifications.

My twin died during childbirth. I sought a soul mate all my life ...
but I never connected that with my dead twin. I always felt sad ...
and I didn't connect those dots either. During our sessions
I 'found myself" and now I can be happy.
Ireland

Losing an unborn twin can have strong emotional consequences. Although behavioral and emotional problems resulting from the loss of unborn twins are outside the ideas used by most helping professionals, we offer solutions for these consequences, for issues concerning dead relatives and for brother and sister problems).

I always sought a soul mate. My mother told me about two abortions. During our sessions I strongly felt the presence of a missing child - perhaps one of the abortions or what you called a vanishing twin. Since then I feel much more complete. Spain

Womb twin survivors often show some of these characteristics:

  • Avoids finishing projects
  • Cannot specify clear goals
  • Sense of profound loneliness
  • Feels peaceful in cemeteries
  • Believes part of self is missing
  • Fascinated or obsessed by twins
  • Chronic melancholy or sadness
  • Dark rings around eyes
  • Immature, childish behavior
  • Extremely sensitive to people
  • May obsess about a perfect partner
  • May prefer codependent relationships
  • Has miscarriages or stillborn babies
  • Life does not make sense

Beliefs, Bonds & Soul Mates

Entanglement with a missing sibling may be indicated by behaviors based on emotions such as guilt, shame and sadness; and on unpleasant beliefs that support behaviors such as obsessions, compulsions, eating disorders or hypochondria. Examples of these limiting beliefs include:

  1. I feel abandoned and left alone
  2. My spiritual path is to find my soul mate
  3. I am guilty for living and I cannot be happy
  4. I give my life energy to my missing soul mate
  5. I must find my soul mate or I will always feel alone

We have heard these and similar beliefs from many people who were seeking soulmates. While being with a twin soul is often described as profoundly spiritual and inspirational, many people who told us about their Soul Mate relationships often seemed enmeshed in symbiosis or codependence.

I always felt that a special woman was waiting for me ... hurting and broken ...
it was my life mission to find her and heal her. I was only attracted to immature
women. Since our sessions I feel complete ... and I want a mature partner.
Boston

We help people change unpleasant emotions, habits.
obsessions and other emotional entanglements.

Online Coaching, Relationship Counseling & Therapy

IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS AT ALL ABOUT YOUR HEALTH,
A PREGNANCY, OR THE HEALTH OF A CHILD,
PLEASE CONSULT A MEDICAL DOCTOR

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2009-2017 All rights reserved


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention www.SystemicPsychology.com or www.EmotionsRelationships.com

For online help, email us at: europecoach@gmail.com

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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2017 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email europecoach@gmail.com