Many young adults are enmeshed in their
and teachers' beliefs,
values and habits. Teenagers
may feel torn between the desires of
their parents and the desires of their friends.
We help people
untangle their emotions and solve relationship problems.
. Troubled Teenage Girls .
Many young adults have idealistic and unrealistic
ideas about independence. Teenagers often focus on freedom from
parental and school restrictions, where they've often spent so
many hours doing things they disliked.
Demands and criticism
are not likely to motivate teenagers to enjoy their emerging maturity - and may
cause many young people to remain immature.
Maturity - Past & Present
Perhaps maturity used to be simpler. Opportunities were fewer and required much less education.
Childhood once ended with adolescence and most young adults followed their
parent's footsteps. Teenage girls became wives and mothers while teenage
boys participated in the family farming or trade, or went off to fight in
Most young adults lived with their parents until
they partnered. Often, even after choosing a partner, young adults lived with
their parents until they could create a home of their own. Even then, they often
stayed near other family members, giving each other emotional and practical support.
And, in the West at least, life has changed.
Coaching Teenagers & Young Adults
We perceive young adults as people aged 16-24 years old,
who are making decisions about values, and goals and life purpose. Our systemic
life coaching can help young adults make these decisions, accept responsibility for
their actions and learn from their successes
... and from their failures.
Active listening, provocation and reflecting
are useful skills when coaching youths and teenagers. Our systemic coaching
includes many other innovative and useful tools for young adults.
Relationship Counseling for Young Adults
Many teenagers obsess about games and sex. Young adults seek
healthy potential partners who want to commit to partnership, and move on with
adult lives. Mature young adults want healthy partnership and healthy children,
yet they may not understand or believe that sexual attraction will fade.
Young adults often need coaching and mentorship
on how to share relationship values,
how to develop friendship and partnership goals and how to enjoy companionship.
Incest . Premarital Coaching .
Coaching Others is Coaching Self
Young adults can help each other through teenage emotions and
passions. Relationships are a popular discussion topic for young adults
especially about finding potential partners, how to maintain partnership and
dealing with ex-partners. They can, perhaps during relationship break-ups
or parental separations, acquire important social skills such as empathy
and understanding, They can learn to coach themselves as they
learn to coach others ... and to be coached by them.
Learning Disorders: ADD & ADHD
Learning disorders can delay maturity. Adolescents with attention
deficit disorder often need 3 to 5 more years to mature than their
less enmeshed friends and peers. Their paths to maturity are more
likely have speed bumps; and they are more likely to need assistance
moving from school to work.
Soulwork Coaching &
Systemic Psychology & Success
Although success has many meanings, success
for young adults seems to be whatever supports independence or indicates
status. For children a bicycle and a private bedroom are practical
symbols of limited independence. For young adults a cool
automobile, an apartment and cool clothes are usually very important.
As committed partnership and a desire to parent
children becomes stronger, whatever impresses people becomes
more important. Beauty, wealth and power are powerful aphrodisiacs,
and a lot of effort may be expended to have (or to pretend to have)
these assets. Young adults seem especially susceptible to advertising,
much of which is targeted at their pliable emotions.
People often borrow money they can't
afford to pay back, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they
don't like. Bank Manager, Fredericton, Canada
Especially after the birth of children, many young
couples find themselves in debt, with incomes insufficient for their
lifestyle. Some people become depressed, and some partners separate
because of the gap between their finances and their dreams.
Do they go deeper into debt ... do they budget and
live within their means ... or do they try to increase their income?
After so many movies watching rich American teenagers, many young
adults are trapped in get-rich-quick schemes - including
Most children consider their friends to be extremely important.
Most teenagers consider potential boyfriends or girlfriends to
be extremely important.
Here are some tools that we use to help
young adults explore relationships:
- Try to
understand each others' viewpoints.
- Note emotionally sensitive topics and habits.
- Reveal and describe your underlying emotions.
- Share feedback calmly, not in heated discussions.
- Recognize complaints, criticism, justifications and blame.
- Separate the content of messages from how they were
- Try to identify your values and find how each
of you benefit from the problem.
- Are you more interested in blaming, punishing or
winning than communicating?
- Interpret what each other has communicated. What may be missing or
- Stay with a problem, watch its dynamics without trying to change it.
Loving relationships are the path and the
goal of of love;
and lasting love requires unusual clarity.
We help people build bridges across forever - bridges to integrity.
Contact us to manage negative emotions and
solve relationship problems
Online Systemic Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, 2003-2018