Overview
Are you mature and responsible? Systemic coaching can help you
find and stabilize an ongoing experience of integrity.
Integrity provides a strong basis for you to restructure your relationships,
resolve traumatic memories, evaluate role models and choose appropriate mentors.
Summary of Systemic Solutions Process
- Control crisis and stress
-
Resolve guilt (from having hurt or betrayed
people)
-
Identify individual and relationship
goals
- Dissolve conscious and unconscious
objections to goals
- Dissolve inner and outer conflicts
and recover integrity
- Dissolve identity loss and recover
sense of self
- Replace relationship bonds and enjoy
better relationships
- Dissolve emotional trauma and recover
motivation
- Dissolve mentor damage and find
inspirational models
- Couple coaching or team coaching as
required
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1. Control Crisis & Stress
If you are in crisis or stress (e.g.: divorce;
war; pain; unwanted pregnancy; unemployment; suicidal, etc) you may be unable to focus on
other issues. Instead,
you may fixate on your crisis, age regress (act childishly) and be unable to complete
coaching homework or tasks. Systemic coaching would
first help you to dissolve or control your crisis.
2. Resolve Guilt
If you have overwhelming guilt (from having hurt, abandoned or betrayed someone
and/or violating an important
relationship) you will likely sabotage your happiness until you resolve your
guilt. Systemic coaching can help you resolve guilt and change your relationship
habits to prepare for happiness.3. Identify Individual & Relationship Goals
Many business people talk about SMART goals (from Blanchard's book, The
One Minute Manager). However, very few people can spontaneously state SMART
goals - instead their goals are often philosophical abstractions, stated as
negatives without time limits.
Systemic goalwork helps you cuts through all of these to find what you
really want.
4. Dissolve Conscious & Unconscious Objections to Goals
If you can perceive your objections as "ways to make things
better", you can accept and resolve your conscious and unconscious objections
to success and happiness. Dissolving transferences and defining goals
are essential skills for all subsequent coaching. You can define a
coaching plan for changing your relationship habits.
5. Dissolve Conflicts & Recover Integrity
Integrity can help you find
complete solutions for neurotic and addictive behavior, such as compulsions,
addictions, unhealthy relationships and emotional problems. This also
alleviates many psychosomatic [1] symptoms, and helps prevent
and accelerate the healing of physical disease
[2].
Although most motivated adults can begin Systemic Coaching immediately,
people with symptoms of psychosis, dementia or severe brain damage are unlikely
to complete this work.
Changing relationships is better after you have dissolved your conflicts - otherwise
you may create new relationships based on your old conflicts.
6. Dissolve Identity Loss & Recover Sense of Self
If you dissociated during abuse, stress or trauma, and you stay
dissociated, we call this identity loss. You may have identified with someone
else. You may have created sub-identities to represent your conflicting
parents. We teach ways to resolve identity loss during systemic coach
training.
7. Replace Relationship Bonds for Better Relationships
You can evaluate and change your feelings of connection (relationship bonds).
You can change unwanted bonds (E.g. “I feel bonded to my last job -
which seems to stop me building my business”). On completion,
you can express your integrity within any relationship. You can gain choice
in how and with whom to build what type of relationships.
A relationship bond to a past partner or parent may prevent a person finding a new
partner. With Soulwork Systemic Coaching, you can evaluate your whether your
bonds are influences, beliefs, values or a substitute for your sense of identity.
8. Dissolve Emotional Trauma & Regain Motivation
Traumatic experiences are often followed by strong emotions -
even for decades. Your emotions can overwhelm you and sabotage your important goals. (E.g. “I
am overcome with sadness when I remember that event.”). If the sources of
your emotions include abusive and traumatic events, we can coach you accept lessons that
you previously ignored. On completion, you may find that all emotions can be motivating. (E.g. “Sadness
about my past reminds me to make the most of my future”).
We perceive that most unpleasant emotions are healthy responses to unhealthy experiences.
After systemic coaching, a person can feel resourceful while pondering
or learning from unpleasant memories; and find deep, lasting motivation
to achieve important goals.
Evaluate Role Models
Role models are people from whom we have consciously or unconsciously
learned behaviors and attitudes. After
trauma resolution, a person can identify and evaluate role models, and choose whether
to replace the role models and the imitated beliefs and behaviors. A person can
choose which role models to emulate and which new behaviors to actualize.
On completion, you can choose which influences you want, and
you can resolve your
unwanted behaviors in alignment with your goals for
your life.
Couple Coaching
Are you in a committed intimate or business partnership? You can request couple
coaching, during or after systemic coaching. As you take steps towards living with purpose and meaning,
you probably wish to share your insights and skills with important people. Couple
coaching coaches
you and your partner simultaneously - to evaluate and fine-tune your relationship.
Couple coaching is perfect for two people who work together, or want to explore
working, together. You can solve problems before they manifest!
Team Coaching
Team coaching skills include team-building, setting team goals, dissolving hidden agendas and
team leader training.
Summary
Systemic coaching encourages you to explore your life choices,
and the consequences of your choices, and to make decisions with integrity. We
can coach
you to remember who you really are.
Systemic coaching encourages you to to create
appropriate relationships; to resolve emotional trauma and to plan and
achieve your goals. Systemic coaching coaches integration - integrated people
become their own teachers, managers, mentors and therapists. Systemic coaching
nourishes your inmost core.
References
[1] Somatic and
psychosomatic disease may be distinguished by whether the
symptoms of chronic disease disappear following a non-medical change
in lifestyle (a change in work, relationships etc). Most physicians
estimate that patients with psychosomatic
symptoms greatly outnumber those with somatic disease.
[2] Physical disease, trauma or
surgery that has destroyed or removed
non-renewable tissue is unlikely to be reversible. In these situations,
systemic coaching may improve a person’s emotional
reactions and emotions concerning the destroyed or removed tissue.
Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2009 All
rights reserved
